Finding faith Among Feelings
Has life ever felt like a blur? Have you ever felt as though you were caught up in a hazy mess of anticipation, disappointments, and what feels like an emotional rock bottom> I know what that's like. I'm definitely what some would consider an "emotionally sensitive" person. I go from zero to emotional in .6 seconds. So, naturally, the hardships my family has experienced have stirred up a feeling or two (or hundred). Sadness, anger, fear, confusion... that's just the beginning. I recall last year when my husband and I got some tough news that we would likely lose our home; I was emotionally spent. And I began getting frustrated with myself. How could I be sad and upset about losing our house if I trust You, God?
You see, my game plan of getting through that rough season had been to put my faith into action. I was done with worrying, growing weary and doubting, and I resolved to live out my faith. We can lose it all, but stay joyful and remain in God's peace. We can go on unexpected journeys, but still trust that God will pull us through. I've been incredibly blessed to follow Jesus from a young age, deepening my faith over the years, that I wanted to take advantage of spiritual maturity and just trust Him, finally.
Sounds like a good plan, right? As my husband lost his job, as our savings had dwindled, as credit cards were being relied on too much, and as the future of our home was TBD, I knew I could still have hope that God was in control and that this was all part of His good plans for us. I truly believed this. But what bothered me was that I still got sad and afraid at times. My emotions seemed to fail. How could I be sad and weary about my husband losing his job if I trust You, God? Ah... I finally realized my error in understanding.
Our emotions aren't a contradiction to our faith, rather, faith can be found among what we feel. So yes, I can be upset that my husband was laid off. I can be frustrated with our financial situation. That is normal, human behavior to the injustices and letdowns in life. It is how we are wired and how we were created. You're supposed to feel. But these feelings are not an indication that faith has been lost. I warn you to not set up camp there, though. Don't stay frustrated. Don't stay sad or upset. Don't feed these emotions. We can take captive those thoughts and emotions, and replace them with God's truth. I don't have a a step-by-step plan that will launch you from fear to faith, but start with prayer and get into the Bible. I can tell you it is possible to lay every burden at the feet of the Lord. I can tell you it is possible to not always stress and worry when life feels like it's crumbling, and when everything you built seems to be falling apart. You can still have faith even then. Because just maybe, things are actually falling perfectly into place.
“Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30
These words, promised by Jesus when He walked this earth, truly touch my spirit. God is amazingly good and faithful that He never wants us to carry our burdens alone. He loves you deeply and He cares for you every single second. He will give you rest. Though your plate feels heavy, He is with you, so lay it all at His feet and He will give you reprieve.
I am in hospital ministry and was talking with a patient recently. We were expressing our gratitude that we have an eternity with the Lord to look forward to. We smiled as we quoted the verse that declares our present sufferings will not compare to the glory that awaits us (Romans 8:18). We felt relief that there was someone else who understood being tired of the brokenness and chaos of this world, and feeling like a foreigner made for a much better place.
Our emotions help us get all the junk inside up and out. They help us realize where our concerns are and what we need to bring to God. Your emotions aren't betraying your faith, they are showing you how to dig deeper into it.
Author: Pamela Palmer